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a person dressed as a ghost. they have a white sheet draped over them, with two black circles drawn on for eyes. they are standing on a hill waving.


this is something deeply personal. some content may be: sad, reflective, difficult, dark, triggering, ironic, funny, self deprecating, melancholic. i don't expect sympathy and i know some people may not agree with or believe everything i have written. i assure you it is all real. it is not meant to be controversial. it is my life. my experiences. i am not a professional writer. i suffer from depression and writing helps me cope. i'm just doing my best. i hope someone out there, even one person, can commiserate kindly.  



a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. causing or tending to cause sadness or depression of mind and spirit. deep sadness or gloom.


if you or someone you know is in a crisis. help is available. suicide and crisis lifeline is available 24 hours a day. call or text 988 or call 1-800-273-TALK(8255).

if you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can contact the national sexual assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE(4673) or go to

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